LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy in Hayes Valley, San Francisco and Online Across California
Being queer in San Francisco can look easy from the outside. Many people are still carrying older material: a family that never fully came around, a faith community that could not make room for them, a relationship pattern that keeps repeating, or a sense of performing even in the spaces that are supposed to be theirs.
I am Stephen Gundlach, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I work with gay men and LGBTQ+ people of all identities, in person at 423 Gough Street in Hayes Valley and by telehealth video anywhere in California. Affirming means you will not have to explain the basics before we get to what you came for.
Who this is for
LGBTQ+ clients come to me for help with:
- Affirming and settling into their identity, at any age and any stage of coming out
- Relationships and dating, including open and non-monogamous relationships
- Family systems that are strained, conditional, or estranged
- Religious and spiritual questions, including the good and the harm that came from growing up in a faith community
- Anxiety, shame, and the exhaustion of being always on guard
- Midlife, career change, and questions of meaning
- Couples work for same-sex and queer couples
How I work
I work with two lenses, cognitive and somatic: how you think about what happened, and how it still shows up in your body.
I am warm, present, and active. I ask real questions, say what I notice, and use humor when it helps. The aim is what Carl Rogers called a relationship a person can use for their own growth.
I was a minister before I was a therapist and I hold a Master of Divinity. If religion is part of your story, you will not need to translate it for me. If it is not, we leave it out.
In person or online
My office is at 423 Gough Street in Hayes Valley, near Civic Center. I see clients elsewhere in California by video.
Fees
Sessions are $200 for 50 minutes. I am out of network with insurance and provide a superbill for reimbursement. I reserve a limited number of sliding scale slots. Please ask if finances are a concern.
Questions people ask
What does "affirming therapist" actually mean?
Your identity is not the problem we are there to solve. We start from that and get to what brought you in.
I am not out to everyone. Is that a problem?
No. Where you are in coming out is yours to decide. Many clients are out in some parts of life and not others, and we work with that.
Do you work with transgender and nonbinary clients?
Yes. I work with LGBTQ+ people across identities.
Do you offer couples therapy for queer couples?
Yes. I see couples entering a new season, rebuilding trust, or working on communication, including open and non-monogamous relationships.
How do I start?
Book a free 30 minute phone or video consultation. We will talk about what you are looking for and whether we are a good fit.