Couples Therapy in San Francisco and Online Across California
Every couple enters new seasons: moving in together, getting married, opening the relationship, a job change, a child, a loss, a betrayal, or the slow drift that sets in when two people stop reaching for each other. Couples therapy is where you look at what is actually happening between you and practice doing it differently.
I am Stephen Gundlach, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Hayes Valley, San Francisco. I work with couples of all orientations, including gay and queer couples and couples in open or non-monogamous relationships, in person at 423 Gough Street and by telehealth video anywhere in California.
Who this is for
Couples come to me when they want to:
- Rebuild trust after a breach, whether an affair, a secret, or a broken agreement
- Improve communication that has become tense, circular, or silent
- Enter a new season well, such as marriage, cohabitation, parenthood, or retirement
- Navigate differences in desire, money, family, or faith
- Decide whether to stay together, and how to do either well
- Work through the effect of one or both partners' religious upbringing on the relationship
How I work
Couples work is active. I help you slow the pattern down enough that you can both see it, then try something different while it is happening in the room. I work with cognitive and somatic lenses: what you each believe about the other, and what your bodies do when the conversation gets hard.
I am warm and direct, and I use humor when it helps.
I was a minister before I was a therapist, so faith, family expectations, and community pressure inside a relationship are familiar ground. If that is part of your story, we can work with it directly.
What to expect
We start with a free 30 minute consultation with both partners. If we go forward, early sessions focus on understanding the cycle you are caught in and what each of you wants. From there we work on the specific skills and repairs your relationship needs. Some couples come for a few months around a specific decision or rupture. Others continue longer as they build a new way of being together.
Fees
Sessions are $200 for 50 minutes. I am out of network with insurance and provide a superbill for reimbursement. A limited number of sliding scale slots are available.
Questions people ask
My partner is hesitant. Can I come alone first?
Yes. Individual sessions can be a place to sort out what you want and how to invite your partner in. If we later move to couples work, we will talk about how that transition works.
Do you work with couples who are not married?
Yes. Married, partnered, dating, living together, or something else entirely.
Do you work with open or non-monogamous relationships?
Yes. I work with the relationship as you have designed it.
What if we are considering separating?
That is a legitimate reason to come. Couples therapy can help you decide clearly, and if you separate, it can help you do so with less damage.
How do I start?
Book a free 30 minute consultation through the button at the top of the page.